The very thought of how true this could be is quite unsettling. There are no comparisons that come to mind of such weighty consequence. With anticipation, excitement, and a blissful ignorance; the possibility. For so long now I have known an existence basically accountable only to myself, shared with a lover, my love, my world. Simple, yet at times, difficult. A world I have grown comfortable, in which, I generally know what to expect from day to day. Balance. Often thrown off due to my lazy nature, and addiction to Netflix. I get these sobering flashes of panic, offset by moments of ease, comfort, and faith…God, what have I done?
For so long though I have remained quite, remained patient, still, timid, and unspoken. I know I believe in so much more then myself, in You, and in the love you have poured out. I believe that there is a purpose, a reason, and an end so much bigger then we can comprehend. This world, the melting pot of terrible things, has to be for more – the destruction that we cannot seem to get past, it must end, there must be a reason, and I know that we are not the answer.
I pray that you will help me become a better person. I pray that you would give me strength, to love when I do not want to, to be patient, to respond in love when all that comes to mind is quick tempered, dim witted retort. God, for your protection, guidance, mercy, grace, and compassion. Please give me a vision for this life far greater then I can fathom. You are a lamp unto my feet, with a vision that exceeds my own – I believe, help me with my unbelief.
Let your will be done.